used to be a circuit speaker, once you know what's behind the curtain, it's hard to regurgitate what's on the outline, once you step down you understand why many do so and never want to be re-appointed.
Johny Franco
JoinedPosts by Johny Franco
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17
Ex elders vs. Current elders
by dothemath inin our congregation there are now more ex-elders than current ones.
(probably very common).
what i notice most of all, is that the ones who were the best speakers (we actually had some good ones) are the ones who have all stepped down.. i'm of the opinion the better teachers recognize its all a joke, and can't be bothered to reach out again.. so the ones left who are taking the lead are the most boring ones available.
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Any former elders brains I could pick?
by BarelyThere ini posted in another topic a few hours ago.
it is my first time on here or any website like this, ever.
i was dfed back in september for adultery.
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Johny Franco
I agree with lee the elder, I also would like to add it depends on the culture, English speaking congregations tend to be more liberal while other ethnic congregations are more conservative which translates to longer times. I have never seen a case where its 6 months maybe that was back in the old school days but this has changed in most congs, if you read the elders book it says "The committee should be careful to allow sufficient time, perhaps many months, a year, or even longer, for the disfellowshipped person to prove that his profession of repentance is genuine" Like others have said it also depends on the outcome after the affair, did you two get married? was it a one time thing? usually with D'fing you don't disfellowship because of the offense but rather the unrepentant attitude, which is gauged by how many times the offense got committed (althought I've seen someone commit fornication about 10 times, he confessed and got off the hook by saying he was repentant) , if you confessed or you got caught or if you wouldn't heed the counsel provided. A good rule of thumb is usually a year, which means at least 4-5 months of that year being regular at meetings...which makes me think if someone is going to fade after being reinstated, why would anyone go through that trauma for that much time? you can also minimize the trauma by moving congregations, although the elders in the new congregation will get a letter from your old congregation and if you are in close proximity you might have face your old body of elders to get reinstated but an announcement will be made in your old congregation also. -
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Elders who dislike other congregation elders
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy congregation had four elders who had different personalities.you would see a little friction among themselves.. #1 self-righteous and the 800 pound gorilla.he would push everyone around in the congregation and even some fellow elders.. # 2 elder was around 80 years old and looked like he stuck around a little too long.it looked like he was around because he never decided to give up the position.his duty became very light as he aged.. # 3 elder was in his early 30's and newly elected.he made no waves and whatever was asked of him in the congregation he would do.easy to push around like a little puppy dog.. #4 elder (who everyone liked ) was easy to get along with and had a family who everyone loved.
he didn't like elder # 1. they had a power struggle amongst each other which everyone observed while the meetings were in session.. here are 2 small verbal fights that i observed while the congregation meetings were in session:.
while elder # 1 was giving a talk ( heavy rain storms are brewing outside with loud thunder and lightning ) the microphones and lights are knocked out.we lost all power and could barely see.
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Johny Franco
@millie
interesting, without derailing much the OP, how was it being related to so many of them? I always wondered what the true feelings were from spouses, I never really believed my significant other when she said she was appreciative I could help the cong, I always felt like she wanted to say more but didn't. It certainly is not easy for wives In my opinion. Also I used to be in a BOE with multiple family members, was I right when I assumed they went home and spoke among each other about matters that should only be treated as a body? also I would assume the're would be discord and fights among each other when they didn't agree since usually it's hard to separate a family relationship from a working one.
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Elders who dislike other congregation elders
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy congregation had four elders who had different personalities.you would see a little friction among themselves.. #1 self-righteous and the 800 pound gorilla.he would push everyone around in the congregation and even some fellow elders.. # 2 elder was around 80 years old and looked like he stuck around a little too long.it looked like he was around because he never decided to give up the position.his duty became very light as he aged.. # 3 elder was in his early 30's and newly elected.he made no waves and whatever was asked of him in the congregation he would do.easy to push around like a little puppy dog.. #4 elder (who everyone liked ) was easy to get along with and had a family who everyone loved.
he didn't like elder # 1. they had a power struggle amongst each other which everyone observed while the meetings were in session.. here are 2 small verbal fights that i observed while the congregation meetings were in session:.
while elder # 1 was giving a talk ( heavy rain storms are brewing outside with loud thunder and lightning ) the microphones and lights are knocked out.we lost all power and could barely see.
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Johny Franco
@Rules
Yeah I've had one of those, they get mad when other elders go beyond the time assigned by a few minutes but then they do it and it's OK because his job is to really make sure the congregation understands the point of the information while at the same time embedding his own opinions to matters he only speculates about. Also thanks to him the congregation appreciates when he lectures the offending elder at the front of the hall as if to say "see, I take care of business within my unit also!" It's interesting the bickering that goes on in BOE's you have to remember to become an elder is easy to delete someone is really tough even if you need to step down so basically you are stuck working with unbearable personalities. I bet the biggest reason why some elders leave their posts are because secretly they can't put up with others. I remember some of the greatest satisfactions I got was when my arch-nemesis (every elder has one) did something wrong and he got called out for it, I would never say anything but secretly I was fist pumping with both arms, I can't imagine this wouldn't happen in other BOE's
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recently left, need some advice
by loner1995 inok. some back story.
i was born into the jw thing.
so was my dad and mom.
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Johny Franco
Dang bro, that's messed up but no need to feel sorry for yourself, as I was reading I saw myself speaking. I haven't left but, the part about not knowing yourself and being the outsider is personal to me. I have a great life including material things but the fact I was thought that everyone was bad, they where worldly, traumatized me to the core, I had great opportunities of establishing great friendships with "wicked" people sadly I always saw them as a threat now I see that the people inside perhaps are worse than the people outside and it hurts, because it feels like I put all my eggs in one basket. I'm still young and can change things but it really is hard to get good at obtaining meaningful relationships with non-witnesses it definitely is residue from a twisted, distorted point of view of non believers. Live life, concentrate on what you can control and move forward, it's going to be tough but it will be worth it. -
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"High" education
by Esmeralda001 indid any of you guys disregard the wt recommendations and pursue a career.
if you answer "yes": was your journey easy?
are you happy with the end result?
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Johny Franco
Best decision ever, never bought into the not getting education banter. As a matter of fact I was encouraged to get some sort of education by a now CO. I was sneaky about it though, never really told anyone, it took me years to finish but once I completed my first degree and saw the benefits of having one, I went back for a second one all while attaining a high responsibility post in the congregation. I escaped the letters sent that men with responsibilities in the congregation pursuing higher education should be considered to see if they still qualified to serve, nobody knew a thing, secretly I was hoping they found out so I could concentrate in finishing my school faster while maintaining my sanity. It was tough but I finished, I'm considering going back and getting a graduate degree but not really sure yet. point of the story is, get it, as someone with responsibility in the congregation I always made sure the younger ones understood the seriousness of not having an education, I have not been proven wrong. People my age that didn't set themselves up now regret not getting education and are financially struggling somehow Matt 6:33 doesn't have the same meaning it did back then. -
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Elders who dislike other congregation elders
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy congregation had four elders who had different personalities.you would see a little friction among themselves.. #1 self-righteous and the 800 pound gorilla.he would push everyone around in the congregation and even some fellow elders.. # 2 elder was around 80 years old and looked like he stuck around a little too long.it looked like he was around because he never decided to give up the position.his duty became very light as he aged.. # 3 elder was in his early 30's and newly elected.he made no waves and whatever was asked of him in the congregation he would do.easy to push around like a little puppy dog.. #4 elder (who everyone liked ) was easy to get along with and had a family who everyone loved.
he didn't like elder # 1. they had a power struggle amongst each other which everyone observed while the meetings were in session.. here are 2 small verbal fights that i observed while the congregation meetings were in session:.
while elder # 1 was giving a talk ( heavy rain storms are brewing outside with loud thunder and lightning ) the microphones and lights are knocked out.we lost all power and could barely see.
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Johny Franco
@sir82 you are right, there are some congregations where there are enough elders to assign a single elder to the WT, a lot of congregations at least the ones in my area with a small BOE the WT defaults to the COOBE, since he usually interprets being the COOBE as having the most qualifications, the curious thing and I'm not sure some of the friends notice...how some of these guys really use this assignment as a platform to attract attention to themselves, specially when you have a comedian among you. -
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Our fade-gossip-elders calling
by All for show inlooking back we had been fading without even realizing it.
life happened...and we weren't regular.
then we woke up and have actively been fading for 9 months.
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Johny Franco
nothing you can do, your reputation has been shattered sadly. It's a freight train with no stop. unfortunately congregations are setup with the perfect gossiping elements. Unless you go back and become active again this should lead you to a faster exit since it sounds like your mind is made up. -
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Elders who dislike other congregation elders
by RULES & REGULATIONS inmy congregation had four elders who had different personalities.you would see a little friction among themselves.. #1 self-righteous and the 800 pound gorilla.he would push everyone around in the congregation and even some fellow elders.. # 2 elder was around 80 years old and looked like he stuck around a little too long.it looked like he was around because he never decided to give up the position.his duty became very light as he aged.. # 3 elder was in his early 30's and newly elected.he made no waves and whatever was asked of him in the congregation he would do.easy to push around like a little puppy dog.. #4 elder (who everyone liked ) was easy to get along with and had a family who everyone loved.
he didn't like elder # 1. they had a power struggle amongst each other which everyone observed while the meetings were in session.. here are 2 small verbal fights that i observed while the congregation meetings were in session:.
while elder # 1 was giving a talk ( heavy rain storms are brewing outside with loud thunder and lightning ) the microphones and lights are knocked out.we lost all power and could barely see.
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Johny Franco
@ XBEHERE
Too funny, been a lurker for a while. It's interesting to read perspectives from people that are out about processes and behaviors specially if they are right on, either they are good guessers or they are still in and serving in positions of responsibility just like I suspect you are. Your description is too funny and accurate. There are ranking elders within a body, The COBE is the shot caller, when there are new elders he will make sure to give a speech at the first meeting with the new appointees and will guilt trip them into being reasonable, humble and accepting of decisions, basically setting them up to be "yes" men to him. The right arm is usually the secretary, most likely this is not assigned to the most qualified individual rather one who the COBE has a great relationship with, in congregations with clans, it is given to the family member. Same with the service overseer, but this position can go either way, because of the work involved in being the service overseer a lot of elders if given a chance to defer would, but then again there is a struggle because accepting it bumps your rank to the number 3 spot. The school overseer position is just a position that allows an elder to have a title within the BOE and congregation and sets you up to a soft number 4 spot, technically this should be the most important position because you need to be able to build others with speaking and teaching qualities to spread the good news but there is little power that comes with it, other than being able to scold people from the podium. Sadly in most congregations the school overseer chosen is the least qualified individual for the task but because literally everyone takes a step back during the process the poor idiot that's distracted or too afraid to not be humble gets assigned by unanimity. In alot of cases you might think the rest of the elders are fodder while this might be true because usually power, adulation and self sense of righteousness moves the more dominant personalities to purse positions 1-4, I've noticed that sometimes the real smart elders tend to avoid said ranks because it usually means more work. sorry for the long post it's just a conversation that caught my attention. I think the worst congregations are the ones ran by clans, horrible horrible environment to work in.